Archive for November, 2011

your dreams will be reduced down to breathing, and you will be grateful

The thing about not-being-a-person is: They will say those people and the price of being a person is to nod and agree that yes, those people aren’t people at all. They will have no idea who they are talking to. You yourself will start to forget, too. They will say a million small things that sow the seeds for violence done against you, and you will smile and let them. You will do math, constantly. How much do I want to be a person today? How much do I want this project to succeed? How much honesty can I afford? How much dishonesty will kill me? What is the cost of coming out? Is there a way to delay, soften, transmute? How long can I survive as half a person? Ever since the world ended ... I don't go out as much. People that I once befriended, just don't bother to stay in touch. Things that used to seem so splendid, don't really matter today. It's just as well the world ended -- it wasn't working anyway. Your dreams will be reduced down to breathing. [Read More]

on 03/5/12 | 2 Comments | Read More

The Obsessive Joy of Autism

I am autistic. I can talk; I talked to myself for a long time before I would talk to anyone else. My sensory system is a painful mess, my grasp on language isn’t always the best, and it takes me q...[Read More]

on 11/30/11 | 123 Comments | Read More

Subsistence of the Soul

Especially in youth, an extreme introvert feeling little commonality with the surrounding society must find ways to nourish the spirit even through the most trying times.  A life on the fringes i...[Read More]

on 11/28/11 | 1 Comment | Read More

What I need and want

I want to be loved and accepted. I wish others to tell me that it’s wonderful that I was born. I feel guilty of existing, tell me I am wrong. I need to see others talking about how happy th...[Read More]

on 11/25/11 | 6 Comments | Read More

The Story of the First Thanksgiving (Journal of Alternatives Edition)

In England, along time ago, there were people called Pilgrims who were very strict about making everyone observe the Sabbath and cooked food without any flavor and that sort of thing, and they decided...[Read More]

on 11/24/11 | No Comments | Read More

Whose Stories Get Told: Regarding Feeling Unsafe In The Glee Fandom

This is the second completed installment of five in the Don’t Give A Damn ‘Bout My Bad Reputation series, the other four of which are Dear Fail!Allies,The Greatest Crime In Television, and even...[Read More]

on 11/23/11 | No Comments | Read More

A Hope For Neurodiversity In Education

Sometimes when I’m feeling frustrated and pessimistic, I get to wondering if humanity is irredeemably stupid.  Sometimes I look around at some of the things we do to each other and the immensity ...[Read More]

on 11/22/11 | No Comments | Read More

School As Introvert Prison Sentence

I got pretty good grades in school.  Homework was easier for me than for most kids.  Yet as an adult it’s easy to look back and realize that none of that was important.  Once one gets into coll...[Read More]

on 11/21/11 | No Comments | Read More

Socializing through silence

I wish you wouldn’t interpret my silence as silence. My silence is, in fact, a compliment. It means that I am being my natural self. It means that I am comfortable around you, that I trust you ...[Read More]

on 11/17/11 | 1 Comment | Read More

I can’t do simple everyday things

I am a little upset. I have a hard time doing simple things, simple daily life activities for example, I see others going to college, working, but I can’t do those things (not just because of A...[Read More]

on 11/16/11 | No Comments | Read More

Dear Fail!Allies (Don’t Give A Damn ‘Bout My Bad Reputation)

Will I ever stop writing about Glee? Who knows! Not today! I should note that this actually turned out to be the second part of five, not the first of three as I say below. The first part is The G...[Read More]

on 11/15/11 | No Comments | Read More

Negative Charisma

A friend of mine was once wondering what stats we would have if we were D and D characters.  We supposed we might have strengths of 12 or so and less than impressive dexterity.  When it came to ch...[Read More]

on 11/14/11 | No Comments | Read More

Autistics Speaking Day – Changing from shame to pride

My post for the Autistics Speaking Day. It’s very common for autistic people to feel burdensome for our loved ones and for society, common to feel shame of being autistic, it’s sadly expected...[Read More]

on 11/11/11 | 1 Comment | Read More

Sugar, Self-Diagnosis, Appropriation, And Ableism: So Here’s What You Missed On Glee (pt. 2)

I have four short little stories for you all. One of them is about my brother. Well, my brother and I–we’re both autistic, and neither of us can pass for shit. We might not be identified as a...[Read More]

on 11/10/11 | 1 Comment | Read More

Sugar, Self-Diagnosis, Appropriation, And Ableism: So Here’s What You Missed On Glee (pt. 1)

Glee is a show whose buzz is owed almost entirely to manufactured controversies. Unfortunately, this latest one is invoking autism, and as an autistic person and fan, I’m weighing in. Again. I’m...[Read More]

on 11/9/11 | No Comments | Read More

Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra

The following is a mashup of two blog posts from two very different spheres of experience, presented without comment save for this: One is a brief, humorous account of the television-viewing habi...[Read More]

on 11/8/11 | No Comments | Read More

Extrovert Critic: “You Read Too Much”

We’ve all heard this criticism.  We read too much.  When we’re seen reading, especially some subject material that seems uninteresting, we seem ‘out of touch,’ ‘with our head in the clou...[Read More]

on 11/7/11 | 2 Comments | Read More

The Greatest Crime In Television (pt. 2)

Stealing a person’s words, their ability to look clearly at something and see it and know that they do, is the smallest and easiest way to kill someone. What I mean is, I say child abuse, and...[Read More]

on 11/4/11 | No Comments | Read More

The Greatest Crime In Television (pt. 1)

Sometimes I think the greatest crime in television is caring. Giving a damn is already practically illegal anyways, so it makes sense. A lot of the time, in fact, giving a damn is actually more of a ...[Read More]

on 11/3/11 | No Comments | Read More

This just in: Being alive linked to autism

This last week or so, every day seemed to bring a new finding about something linked to autism. I blogged one of them -- diabetes -- but who really would have the wherewithal to follow the growing l...[Read More]

on 11/1/11 | 6 Comments | Read More