Author Archive

your dreams will be reduced down to breathing, and you will be grateful

The thing about not-being-a-person is: They will say those people and the price of being a person is to nod and agree that yes, those people aren’t people at all. They will have no idea who they are talking to. You yourself will start to forget, too. They will say a million small things that sow the seeds for violence done against you, and you will smile and let them. You will do math, constantly. How much do I want to be a person today? How much do I want this project to succeed? How much honesty can I afford? How much dishonesty will kill me? What is the cost of coming out? Is there a way to delay, soften, transmute? How long can I survive as half a person? Ever since the world ended ... I don't go out as much. People that I once befriended, just don't bother to stay in touch. Things that used to seem so splendid, don't really matter today. It's just as well the world ended -- it wasn't working anyway. Your dreams will be reduced down to breathing. [Read More]

on 03/5/12 | 2 Comments | Read More

Tolkien the Introvert

J.R.R. Tolkien was the sort of man who tended to stick close to an adored few friends and family. He was an academic who spoke awkwardly and had an uncharismatic presence. He loved obscure subjects th...[Read More]

on 01/23/12 | 5 Comments | Read More

Introverts and Night Clubs

Night clubs embody a mentality that is inimical to my own. That is exactly why I have been drawn to them on occasion. To grow we all need challenges and changes. Putting oneself in an unfamiliar ...[Read More]

on 01/16/12 | 6 Comments | Read More

Beyond Introvert Survival: Finding Allies in an Extroverted Society

For many introverts who find themselves isolated, the advice they receive seems reasonable enough:  “Get out more.  Meet some people.” Yet in practice it never seems to work.  One ends up e...[Read More]

on 01/9/12 | No Comments | Read More

Introvert vs. Extrovert: Restaurants

I found the ideal sort of introverted restaurant in England.  It’s a dying breed of restaurant except perhaps in the countryside where only 20% of the country’s population lives.  It’s anoth...[Read More]

on 01/2/12 | 8 Comments | Read More

The Misery of “Happy” People

Surely a culture where everyone must smile must be a happy culture?  Surely a merry holiday must be the happiest time of year?  Surely a stunning model makes everyone feel good about themselves. ...[Read More]

on 12/19/11 | No Comments | Read More

Introvert Survival: Diaries

When we think of diaries the first image that comes to mind is the popular image.  A slim volume with lots of pink hearts all over the cover.  It might have a little toy lock on it so that its con...[Read More]

on 12/12/11 | No Comments | Read More

Introvert Survival: Any Small Thing

One of the most powerful remedies for feelings of depression, loneliness, and rejection is a hobby or discipline that commands your intimate attention.  As a kid I loved insects and all kinds of sm...[Read More]

on 12/5/11 | 2 Comments | Read More

Subsistence of the Soul

Especially in youth, an extreme introvert feeling little commonality with the surrounding society must find ways to nourish the spirit even through the most trying times.  A life on the fringes i...[Read More]

on 11/28/11 | 1 Comment | Read More

School As Introvert Prison Sentence

I got pretty good grades in school.  Homework was easier for me than for most kids.  Yet as an adult it’s easy to look back and realize that none of that was important.  Once one gets into coll...[Read More]

on 11/21/11 | No Comments | Read More

Negative Charisma

A friend of mine was once wondering what stats we would have if we were D and D characters.  We supposed we might have strengths of 12 or so and less than impressive dexterity.  When it came to ch...[Read More]

on 11/14/11 | No Comments | Read More

Extrovert Critic: “You Read Too Much”

We’ve all heard this criticism.  We read too much.  When we’re seen reading, especially some subject material that seems uninteresting, we seem ‘out of touch,’ ‘with our head in the clou...[Read More]

on 11/7/11 | 2 Comments | Read More

I Hate Cold Calling

For an introvert few tasks can be as daunting and titanic as making a cold call.  The very idea of disturbing an unseen stranger over the telephone fills us with anxiety. -We wouldn’t want to ...[Read More]

on 10/31/11 | No Comments | Read More

Introversion and Schizoid Traits

Not so long ago, I was dropped a link by a reader to Wikipedia’s entry on schizoid personality disorder.  I was shocked as I read it over. I read through the descriptions and lists on this page ...[Read More]

on 10/24/11 | 1 Comment | Read More

Extroverts and the Concept of ‘Deserval’

We turn on the TV and encountering the concept is inevitable: “I deserve it.” says a waifish, urban thirty-something woman as she justifies buying that expensive dress or that decadent slice o...[Read More]

on 10/17/11 | No Comments | Read More

Life After Mass Society?

I received this comment from a reader: Hey this is Adi. I have been reading a lot of your posts and like this blog a lot and I am posting for the first time. I have a question that has been bugg...[Read More]

on 10/10/11 | No Comments | Read More

Introverts vs. Extroverts: Learning

The acquisition of knowledge has a very different meaning to introverts and extroverts. Extroverts:  Learning is a means to an ends Introverts: Learning is an end unto itself. Extroverts lea...[Read More]

on 10/3/11 | 3 Comments | Read More

Extrovert Success and the Introvert

What kind of life in society is considered a success?  In obituaries we see ‘was a great person/parent’ and all kinds of statements, but never do we see ‘This person was successful.  In thei...[Read More]

on 09/26/11 | No Comments | Read More

Extroverted Critic: “You Need to Be More eMOtional”

“Sometimes you need to let go man and just go with your eMOtions. You think too much.” What Subtle person hasn’t spent years getting bombarded with this platitude? The critic is usually wel...[Read More]

on 09/19/11 | No Comments | Read More

Introverts: Denizens of a Social Ghetto

When we say the word ghetto, we generally think of rap, thugs, and crime.  What we usually think of  is a modern economic ghetto, a neighborhood where all the poorest people live  and can’t aff...[Read More]

on 09/12/11 | 1 Comment | Read More

Introverts, Social Loyalty, and Social Immunity

A Subtle person often grows up an outsider and never really bonds with their birth society.   Not only do we lack commonality with the whole, we might very well also have feelings of resentment af...[Read More]

on 09/5/11 | 1 Comment | Read More

Introvert Survival: Reducing Your Profile

If you’ve ever seen an oil painting or engraving of two men with dueling pistols, you might have noticed that they have both turned their bodies sideways with their arms tucked behind them so that...[Read More]

on 09/5/11 | No Comments | Read More

Extrovert Critic: “You’ll Never Get Laid If You ____”

How many times has any male introvert nerd been told “If you like (DandD, klingons, magic cards, x…) you’ll never get any girls”? The aim of this criticism is to point out the superiority of...[Read More]

on 08/29/11 | 4 Comments | Read More

Unity Without Uniformity: The Implications of Wikis

The internet has resulted in forms of collective human association without any individual being crushed by the collective. One form of such an association has come to be called a ‘wiki.’ In t...[Read More]

on 08/22/11 | No Comments | Read More

Why Introverted Nerds Like Fantasy and Sci Fi

It’s perfectly Ok and respectable to have seen some trek and wars. However, you’re crossing way over the line if you know who Salacious Crumb is or know just how Shaka felt when the walls fell....[Read More]

on 08/15/11 | No Comments | Read More

Introverts and Sports

Sports in their most popular form are just another social venue.  The minority players are involved in an intricate group activity and the majority spectators are involved in a mass cult of fandom...[Read More]

on 08/8/11 | 1 Comment | Read More

Introvert Survival: Handling Extrovert Interrogations

When a Loud person asks you a question it is best to give a quick, snappy, truthful answer. Directly stonewalling or displaying reluctance to answer personal questions from someone you don’t trust...[Read More]

on 08/1/11 | No Comments | Read More

The Tragedy of the Lords

A tragedy of the commons is said to occur when a resource available to everyone becomes overused until it becomes available to no one.  Everyone loses in the end. A tragedy of the lords is how ...[Read More]

on 07/25/11 | No Comments | Read More

Unity Does Not Mean Uniformity

Society and social interaction are helpful tools for the introvert.  Society does not just happen for its own sake in our point of view.  It requires justification, for from proper justification c...[Read More]

on 07/18/11 | No Comments | Read More

Extrovert Malfunction in Foreign Societies

Extroverts are extremely specialized and well adapted to the standards of their society.  They are so attached to their ways that encountering other customs and world views is extremely uncomforta...[Read More]

on 07/11/11 | No Comments | Read More

Why a True Introvert Will Never Change

Introverts have wished many, many times that we could be more extroverted, that life in society could be just a little easier.  We tell ourselves again and again that we ought to ‘get out more...[Read More]

on 07/4/11 | 2 Comments | Read More

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